Using Social Media to Connect with my Teens

Photo by Natasha Hall on Unsplash

Teens Become Strangers

Teenagers can be mysterious beings.  There are often almost full days where I barely see them at all. They seem to live in their bedrooms, leaving only to get food and take the occasional shower.  I say hello as they pass by.  I knock on their doors to check in.  I’m greeted with a “leave me alone” or a “get out of my room.”  

Get to Know Them on Social Media

It’s a rarity to see a teenager without a phone in their hands.  I think they spend more time on social media than they do sleeping.  So, naturally, I’ve familiarized myself with the platforms (somewhat) they use.  They can be just a few feet away and I’ll send them a funny GIF or meme.  90% of the time these are ignored.  I can see they’ve opened them but as they would say they “leave me on read.”

Embrace Every Exchange 

But there times; however, not very often that I receive a GIF back.  There are even times when out of the blue I receive a snap (if that’s what you call them).  They enjoy my struggle to fully understand the ins and outs of all the different platforms.  And they enjoy trying to teach them to me.

Don’t Force Conversation 

Perhaps this method isn’t as traditional as sitting together at the dinner table, watching the kids shuffle food around their plate while I ask how their day was.  But I find it more effective than forcing quality time and conversation.  

Be Available 

I’m here and available should they want to spend some quality family time together without the involvement of handheld devices.  And I offer often.  Occasionally, they are agreeable.  But it’s never forced.  And I find this makes the in person time we do have together more enjoyable for them and for me.

The Silent Treatment is Okay

Probably the best part of connecting with them on their terms comes when they are angry with me.  And anyone who has teenagers knows this is an all too common occurrence.  

What would normally result in slammed doors and a one sided screaming match ends in quiet avoidance.  It’s so important to me to always remind my teenagers they are loved even in those times of disagreement.  I make it a point to send them a direct message with some kind of meme, emoji or GIF that tells them I love them, one that tells them good night.

Remind Them They Are Loved

These are never responded to, of course.  They are entitled to feel angry.  They can ignore me.  But they will always be reminded they are loved and there will never be a day I don’t tell them that.  If you’re not already connecting with your teens on their level, I recommend utilizing their social media obsession rather than hating it.